Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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