If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
