you will always have a special place in my vag
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize