So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
