If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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