all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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