Ambien. No doubt about it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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