She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
