Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
