so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
