so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
