I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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