pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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