i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
