I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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