Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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