Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
drinking out of a sandbucket again
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
