I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
