I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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