I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
