Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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