reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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