my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
