Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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