I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
