Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
