are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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