You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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