dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
