tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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