dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
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