I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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