It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
