Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
