is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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