and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
