Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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