That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize