dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
This toilet bowl is my home.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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