I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
