Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Of course I have a pirate flag
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
