I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
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