I can text with my tongue
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
