Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
