Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
