did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i just google imaged poop.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
