like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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