dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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