Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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