Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Acid is not a monday night drug
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
That accounts for only three of the penises
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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