i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
