i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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