I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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