I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
