She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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