it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
