11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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