Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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