so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
