Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
the liver wants what the liver wants
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Randomize
