You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
