I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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