Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
