we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
