Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
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If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
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These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize